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silverteahouse

Orsolya Kiss
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I spent a couple of days with looking back on my previous years’ works, on what I’ve managed to create, what I haven’t, whether I’ve made any progression or not, and what kind of changes could I notice in my drawing style. The result of this is the following: my drawing performance is chaotic. :’D

It is not only about the fact that sometimes months fly away between two uploads, but also sometimes I create precise, detailed pics and other times I upload poorly drawn squiggles… It feels like that the pics were drawn by different artists. Alright, we can say that during the breaks when I did not draw anything, I was hit by so many stimuli that have changed my fields of interests, aims (sometimes I came closer to more realistic, picturesque, concept-like style, in other times I felt closer to the comic-like, cartoon-like techniques like shading, inking, etc. …). But still, this is not okay for me, I really want to kick myself in the arse to make myself work harder, push harder, and have a linear, clearly visible progress concerning my style and performance. X”D

I really don’t know what to do with myself. Nowadays I try to create something on a daily basis, I try to improve myself, get to know what I do better, how I can improve my performance the most effectively. This is difficult, because I watch a lot of other artists who inspire me and I try to reach their level of proficiency, and most of the time this only makes me sad because I do not feel that we are on the same level and this weakens the spirit… My friends and colleagues say that I am too hard on myself and I am a maximalist, but I cannot change the way I regard myself.

Alright, there are those times (extremely rarely) when I create something great that even I like without any thinking or using references, a pic that I do not want to throw away after a week passes and I take a look on it again. This time I feel like in heaven, but soon the art block comes and I’m in hell again. X”D I just want to please myself and others with my drawings. But often (very often actually) this is extremely hard… the reason for this might be what others say that I try to meet the needs of others, and I’m preoccupied with what they think of me or my drawings. Or that I compare myself to others instead of trying to walk on my own path. But I do believe that I’m not alone with these issues. 

Okey, enough with my misery, I do hope that soon I can show you something nice and new  :’D

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I kinda disappeared during the past few years and now I feel the need to write a “short” report with the help of a friend, who is a professional translator. I’d have written more frequently, but my English knowledge and my translational abilities are still down in the basement... :’D

The last time I was this active was when I drew TF fanarts and announced the sketches for free thingy... from which nothing actually came out. That time I started my first real job and it consumed all of my time and energy.... a new love came with new expectations, etc... Besides I did not go to uni, but I’ve never seen it as a disadvantage, ‘cause in my new work environment they appreciated professionalism rather than having a degree. I’ve learnt a lot and gained a lot of experience as well.

3 years later I moved in with my boyfriend and I also left my current job and got a new one. It was extremely different from designing web pages or image designing. I could do what I loved: concept art, designing characters, painting background or user interfaces for games. I was happier than ever, but obviously I did not have any spare time for drawing at home.

But the past two years came out quite ugly. I broke up with him, after that I had a depressive episode, I could not find my place in life, I felt completely burned out. It was a dark time, but I do not want to bore anyone with the details.

A month ago one of my friends sent me a video about 25 yrs old ppl who feel completely and totally burned out. It really touched me, I even shed a couple of tears. I really would love to be like Artgerm, Charlie Bowater, Phobs, Loish and other very gifted artists whom I follow via various social media platforms (Fb, tumblr, dA, livestream, etc.). (I don’t even need to go that far, it is enough to see my friend Mau who draws every day, develops her characters and gets better and better day by day.)But I feel that something is missing from me, something that they have, but I will never possess. I’d really love to be as productive and motivated as they are! I’d love to be useful and create something permanent. And meanwhile I’d like to be happy. This is what I desire the most. To feel useful and needed.

During the past few weeks I came to find myself again: I started to go out with my friends, I lost some weight (9 kgs), I work out on a regular basis and I also feel inspired. I fear that it won’t last long (every year I get 1 or 2 similar period(s), during which I draw and write a lot, but after that I do not create anything for the rest of the year. See: my Korra-period or when I engaged in doing a bunch of memes with my friends).

I would love to be really productive, but not only for a short period. It really pisses me off when I have no inspiration, no goals to reach and I don’t do anything... Am I the only one who struggle with this, or are there others as well??? It would be so great to share this with others, exchange experience, hear other opinions, but my English is kinda crappy. I am so ashamed... I kinda understand writing, but listening and speaking... well, let’s not talk about that...

So.... inspiration.... you could notice (if anyone visits my gallery at all :’D) that my tumblr and dA gallery has been overflowed with WOW fanarts. This is my newest craze. 1,5 years ago, when I hit rock bottom, this game helped me and I was extremely grateful (mainly to two of my friends who recommended it ...but after they forgot to log in and play with me XD). My two favourite characters are my hunters Laime and Ngutu. I could never choose a faction; I love both Alliance and Horde as well. And I really hate quarrelling as well... This somewhat reduced my love for the game, and a series of unsuccessful raids did not help either. So I had a 1,5 month break and tried GW2, Sims4, etc... also the workout sessions and the cooking consumed my evening, so I had a lot on my plate. Now, I seem to manage to create a system which I hope that will prove to last, and with that I also do hope that I’ll have time to draw beside getting back to my two favourite huntards.

I hope that someone will read this outpouring. :’D Sorry for the bitterness, it’s a bad habit, I try to quit it. At one point I will learn to communicate in English, and then I will bore you more frequently.

Until then... let the drawing begin!

XOXO

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Hello! :aww:

Me, and my dear friend decided to fight against laziness (laziness refers to me, my friend couldn't be more industrious). We started a drawing "battle", which means that we do a lot of challenges, we have to draw every day. If we miss out a day, it's not only a shame for us, but we have to pay for the other person, so we don't want to miss out even one day.

The challenges and the daily drawings can be found on this tumblr page: 

teavscat.tumblr.com/

or on my own tumblr:

silverteahouse.tumblr.com/

Our first challenge is on expressions, based on an extant challenge, but we decided to draw full-body instead. napalmnacey.deviantart.com/art…


I hope you like these drawings. :aww:



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Status report

3 min read


Sziasztok Srácok!

Először is: bocsi amiért így eltűntem egy évre. Sok minden történt ez idő alatt (új munka, párkapcsolat, a szülői házból való elköltözés, házi munka, stb.) Sokan a fanartok miatt waccsoltak vagy requesteket kértetek tőlem, de azzal nem számoltam hogy a munka és a magánélet mellett az otthon való rajzolás ennyire nehéz lesz. Ha akad egy kis feles energiám akkor egy saját sztorin dolgozok (PoC), a karaktereket rajzolom (Nováról és Caliról már láthattatok korai festményeket) és írom a történetüket. Ez most teljesen kitölti az időmet. Ami végülis nem rossz, mert boldog vagyok és legalább egy kis erőm és időm marad a saját sztorimra (Power of Cores, de erről majd még később bővebben). Fanartok terén nem tudok mit jósolni, a LoK2-t már nagyon várom, ahhoz majd lehet rajzolok, ha kijön végre a második évad első része.

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Hi Guys!

First: I'm sorry for being away for a year. A lot of things happened during that time (new job in a game studio, boyfriend, moved to Szeged, housework, etc) A lot of people watched me because of my fanarts or requests.... But I didn't think that the job and the privacy take away my time and energy. I can't draw much. :( If I have time I draw and write my new story (Power of Cores). A few characters (Nova, Cali, etc.) are old, the story is new. This fills my time. I don't mind because I have a happy life and I love my partner, my job, my OCs, etc. But I do not want to neglect my dA or tumblr account...

I don't know when I will draw fanarts... I'm waiting for the LoK Book 2, I want to draw Makorra or Bolin, Asami, etc. :meow:

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My new website

1 min read
Is finally ready! :typerhappy:

silverteahouse.com/
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